Though they drink from different bottles, toddlers aren’t too dissimilar from our drunken peers.
I have the unique privilege of working with the most fun people on earth: toddlers. In my time working with these tiny balls of awesome, I have realized something: Taking care of toddlers is just like babysitting drunk people.
First off, both toddlers and drunk people like to take their clothes off and run around in some degree of nudity. Both feel totally comfortable without pants and/or shirts, and they seem to prefer it that way. Trying to put clothing back on either group is impossible because they squirm and wiggle until you give up and just let them be naked, and frankly, they always look exuberantly happy.
Toddlers and drunk people also like to speak gibberish. They yell at you in a language all their own and then yell even louder when you do not understand them. They will scream and yell until you either give them a bottle or put them to bed, which usually requires a lot of coaxing and patience in either case.
Drunks and toddlers also like to stand and dance on tables, drawing attention to themselves. Both awkwardly struggle to ascend the table, legs and arms flailing around like an out-of-control monkey. They then stand and wobble about in a manner that resembles a fit more than dancing, until their sober friend or parent scoops them off the table before they hurt themselves, typically resulting in screaming, kicking and gibberish.
The last similarity between toddlers and drunks is the fact that they are the most loving and overly affectionate groups of people on the earth. They will hug, kiss and snuggle with you until they either pass out or finish their bottles, whichever comes first. It is the best/worst thing ever, depending on the age of the person.
I never thought my experiences taking care of my friends after a night on the town would help me do a better job taking care of my little darlings, but the similarities are undeniable. And although both toddlers and drunk people make me crazy at times, their gleeful smiles and joyful spirits never cease to make me laugh and smile.
